Tonight Jesus, Holy Spirit, God, and I went on another journey. Jesus and I were sitting at a picnic table in the backyard of my old house. My hands were in Yours and I was speaking the lyrics of a song to you. I had to start the song over like four times. We are working on this season, future Bridgette, where we are trying to learn discipline. We are working on trying to just focus for 4 minutes. I am hoping future me is laughing reading this right now because we have this focused thing on lock now.
Shocking… I already got distracted. So I started the song over again and I just sat and spoke to you. At first, you were Jesus. You were the man that I see when I think of you. That off white linen shirt and beautiful smile. But then, you were the Holy Spirit. I had sung this song to you twice today. And this time, you wanted me to sing to you Holy Spirit. Right now, I can’t see you as a human. You are a blue light that is feminine. I know you are a she to me because I feel safe with you, like I would sit and talk to you about my period and boys; something I wouldn’t guess girls talk to their dads about. I don’t really know because I didn’t have one.
So i am singing to Holy Spirit and holding your light hands and then you rotate between Jesus, Holy Spirit, and the Invisible God. I know you are there, I can feel you, but I cannot see you. I read in the Beatitudes tonight that “Blessed are the pure in heart, fir they shall see God.” [Matt 5:8 NKJV] So I guess that explains that! I know that I am on the path to see you; I also know I am not there today.
I was singing to all three of you but all as one. We suddenly were walking in a field. We were in a straight line and we were charging across this field. I was on a mission. I was plowing through. And You were there with me, in All Three Forms, showing me that you are there in full force with me always. I noticed that as we walked across this dead field of dead wheat, behind us was a lush garden with wildflowers and a path. We were the line between the life and the death.
Suddenly, I saw a volcano up ahead. I freaked out. I began to panic. I could see the lava bursting over the top of those mountains and I began to cry. You were all around me. Jesus said, “Don’t you see; look behind you. Life follows us where ever we go. You don’t have to be afraid.” I stopped panicking. I looked behind me and I saw wildflowers and sunshine for as far as the eye could see. I looked in front of me and I could only see one volcano. I knew there were more but I could only see one. Behind that was just a cloud of dark gray smoke.
I looked down at my feet and I saw daisies. White daisies with yellow centers. More of them than I could count. When I went to pick them, I noticed I was a little girl. I was in a white dress. My soft blonde hair was pulled half up-half down with a blue bow, and I had sweet like 5-year-old bangs. I had blue flats with one simple strap and white socks that went up to my little knees. The cutest part was the blue ribbon belt that tied in a big bow on my lower back. I picked a bunch of wild daisies, got them all ready in my hand, and then I went over to my poppa to give them to him. You were all three in one. And you smiled at me. I don’t know how to describe with words that you were all three-in-one, but in my eyes, I knew you were. To me, child me, it made all the sense in the world.
I looked up and realized we had already arrived at the volcano and You all three just kept plowing ahead; I knew that you were on a mission. I stayed a child and stayed right behind you–giggling, picking flowers, skipping, and dancing around. I didn’t have a care in the world. I knew we were going somewhere. As long as I stayed behind you on the path that you had made for me, I was going to be find. I just enjoyed being with you; I knew you would take care of the volcanos.
You all walked over them like they were nothing. I thought they were going to be so crazy. I thought that they were going to be painful. But when I stayed behind you, it felt like nothing. As long as I am with you, nothing is greater. You are the conquer of all things. You are the light. You are the truth. You are everything. You just want me to be with you.
And then, we were all dancing in the backyard again. I look different. I know it is me but I don’t really know how I can become the girl I see in the vision. The best feeling in the world is know that I don’t have to know. One day at a time. One step at a time. Today I am spending time with you. You are worth all my time; and today I actually saw you and payed attention and we had two encounters.
You are meeting me where I am.
Tonight, this is what I sing to you:
“Help me let You go
Help me give up control
Of the god I’ve made you
When my fear has contained you
Help me let You go
Help me give up control
Of the god I’ve made you
When my fear has contained you”
-“Let Go” by Will Regan of United Pursuit
Actually… Let’s go ahead and put the whole song in here:
Thank you God for the work that you are doing in my life right now. I give you honor and praise. Thank you for meeting me in the crap hole I call my heart right now and meeting me there to not just mend, but rebuild my heart, my mind, my soul, and my life. Thank you for never leaving me alone.
Jesus, I love you. God, I love you. Holy Spirit, I love you. Thank you for taking me on an adventure today/
You Are With Us,