I started out in a windstorm. I couldn’t see what was more than a foot a head of me. The wind was swirling and blowing all around me. I was wearing a scarf around my head, thinking that would help me keep the sand out of my face. I was wearing converse; just like the…

Dear Dad

I wonder what I would have called you… Dad, Daddy, etc… I know that by this point in our lives, I would have given you a thousand nicknames. This feels a little strange, writing a letter to someone that I don’t know but is somehow half of me. I like to do life face-to-face, but often life doesn’t like to supply that option. So for now, I guess I will just write a letter to you and send it nowhere because I don’t know how to send mail to the dead. If you have any insight on that, a letter back would be nice. And scary…

Audience Of One

Bridgette to Bridgette: Let your guard down. Trust that this has a purpose. Turn and face your pain. And tonight, write only for an audience of One. You aren’t changing your behavior because you are not processing what is happening. You have to walk it out if you want to see the top of this…

Fast Forward

I felt like You wanted me to come and talk to You tonight. I actually have felt like You have wanted me to come talk to You the last couple of nights. I mean… I didn’t sleep last night. That should have been a clue… but I am dense and rebellious. And You are patient and kind. So tonight, I stopped long enough to hear you. I felt like what was happening was like in fast forward. Everything was happening so quickly. I know that I will remember what you want me to…

Baptism

My journey began with the feet of Jesus today. The literal feet of Jesus. I figured they would be dirty as he was always wearing sandals in the sand. His sandals were brown, his cloak was white linen, and his coat was deep crimson red. I could hear the ground crunch underneath his sandals as he walked through the forest, using the trees as His guide. We were walking towards an opening, but slowly and taking our time. I wanted to teleport over to the opening… but He kindly looked at me and said, “Didn’t you notice that I walked everywhere I went? I am not in a hurry.” …

Over The Volcanos

Tonight Jesus, Holy Spirit, God, and I went on another journey. Jesus and I were sitting at a picnic table in the backyard of my old house. My hands were in Yours and I was speaking the lyrics of a song to you. I had to start the song over like four times. We are working on this season, future Bridgette, where we are trying to learn discipline. We are working on trying to just focus for 4 minutes. I am hoping future me is laughing reading this right now because we have this focused thing on lock now…

I Wasn’t Done..

After such a moment, I knew that I wasn’t done. I started the song again. You smiled at me and said, “Where are we going next?”

I started think about all these places. I took myself out of the moment. In the back of my mind, I was thinking “Stay here. Stay here. Stay here. Don’t move. Stay with Him.” But my mind started racing. My old house? What about the mountains? I love the mountains. What about a park? And then… I felt you. I just looked at you…

My Moment With You

As I was sitting in my car, I knew that you wanted to meet with me. I knew that there was something in this moment… that if I rushed, I would miss you. I looked down at the clock, knowing that I had to complete something by 11:00. 10:29 stared at me as I knew I had to get inside to get to wifi and do what I needed to do. But in that moment, I knew that you wanted me to see something. You wanted me to chose You. You wanted me to chose to stay there even though I felt like I had to do something else…

Not In A Hurry

I want to rest in this place. I want to be ok with waiting longer than I ever wanted to for my life to begin. I want to squirm out of this hedge you have so kindly closed me into. At my core, I need to believe that You are God and that You are Good. It doesn’t matter how I feel about my day or how shitty things are going right now. I need to know you are Good. I need to know that You aren’t just good… but You ARE good.

You are the reason for all things good. You are the reason for beauty, and sound, and the worship that fills these pitiful little headphones. You are worthy to be praised because You are worth it. You are worthy of all of my attention, all of my praise, all of my time, all of my talent, all of my brain, and everything in between…